Celebrity jokes
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"There's a great singer inside of you."
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
Who's Lil John?
"Addison Rae in bra? Nope, terrible."
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
Chuck Norris has gone to Mars. That's why there is no life on it.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.