Celebrity jokes
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
Amber Heard Daily Routine:
Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
Paul Walker.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
How many thumbs down can this joke get?
Joke: Runescape, mustard, tits, Pamela Anderson.