Celebrity jokes

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?

She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

What's red and got makeup all over?

A Bill Cosby victim.

Donald Trump is so stupid his fanboys dislike this.

Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?

Because he can't handle 6 perks.

What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

What are Michael Jackson's pronouns?

He, he.

What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?

Ow!

Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.

What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?

Slim Shady.

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.

Michael Jackson.

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"

The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."

"How do celebrities stay cool?"

"They have many fans!"