Celebrity

Celebrity Jokes

Bed

So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.

Fan

What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?

Lots of fans.

Death

Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)

Paul Walker

Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?

Why do you say that?

Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.

Type

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

Day

On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:

12 tap ins

11 pointless dribbles

10 fixed league titles

9 missed penalties

8-2

6 dives

500 million robbed from Barca

4 UCL semi losses

3 times he blamed Higuain

2 retirements

And a transfer to a farmers league.

Michael Jackson

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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  • Star

    So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."

    Impression

    My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:

    When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*

    Cigarette

    If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

    But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

    Crash

    What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?

    Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.