Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo inside you?
Cause Jokes
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
Why is the USA bad at Clash Royale? 'Cause they already lost two towers.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause it was stuck in the crack... *buttcrack*