Cause jokes
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.
Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
'Cause all the fans have left.
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.
*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house......
And came back out with a job application, then that ran away *CAUSE SHE'S A UGLY FUCK*
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.