Card jokes

The Ace of Spades was Hippy Flipping.

What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?

You can't even deal with it!

Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

Why don’t butts ever win at cards?

Too many farts!

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.

Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.

Bomb goes Uno.

I did have a good time today, I did.

Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!

Unknown: Okay!

Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!

Unknown whispering: Sexy!

Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.

Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.

Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!

Llama: What's your damn problem?

Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?

Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.

Older boy: UNO reverse card!

If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.

How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?

Igloos it.

Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.

Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.

Bully (😡): NO!

Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???

Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.

quizlet.com/211392116/nc-math-2-honors-end-of-year-test-study-guide-flash-cards/

Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.

What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?

BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.