Card jokes
Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards.
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?
BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!
Unknown: Okay!
Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!
Unknown whispering: Sexy!
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
How does the Eskimo make a house of cards? Igloos it.
quizlet.com/211392116/nc-math-2-honors-end-of-year-test-study-guide-flash-cards/
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!