Card jokes
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it?
And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Who laughs last, laughs best.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
The king took a shit on the craps table at the casino.
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
What's the best card in Clash Royale?
The Credit Card.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.
Why are Mexicans good at Uno?
They always steal the green card.
You're so poor, you like postcards for food.
For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.