Card jokes
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
Who laughs last, laughs best.
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it?
And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
The king took a shit on the craps table at the casino.
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
What's the best card in Clash Royale?
The Credit Card.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.
For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.
You're so poor, you like postcards for food.
Why are Mexicans good at Uno?
They always steal the green card.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!