Card jokes
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.
Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!
Llama: What's your damn problem?
Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
The Ace of Spades was Hippy Flipping.
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
What's the best card in Clash Royale?
The Credit Card.
For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.