Card jokes
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
I played Uno with my Mexican friend.
That bastard took all the green cards!
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
quizlet.com/211392116/nc-math-2-honors-end-of-year-test-study-guide-flash-cards/
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
If you read this, you lost your v card.
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Got my girlfriend a "get better soon" card. She's not sick, I just think she can do better.
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.