Card jokes

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

What is a photographer's favorite card game?

SNAP!

Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards.

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

Why are orphans so bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house is!

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don't know what a full house is.