Card Jokes

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mothers day card for his mum. The second he saw it he burst out crying...

I kicked into someone Ball.Now i got a red Card

I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.

One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what she’s doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you don’t need a partner if you have a good hand

why was the kids report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level

why didnt the pirate want to play cards? Because was standing on the deck!

. How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

What is the worst animal to play cards with ................................................................................... a cheater

how are fortnite cards and orphans similar: theyre given away

what did the adopted poker player say ? will you raise me

If you read this you lost your v card

GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!! Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

giveaways.com/fortnite-card-9283

What is a yellow dog Libertarian? A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it 🐕 🗽

A man marries a blonde chick, live a happy life together and the man asks his wife if she wants kids she says "yes". So, a couple years go by, they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave or does your mortician take it from you?

Q. why can't the orphan buy robucks A. he could not use his mothers credit card

How come Leper's don't play cards? Well, if they lose a couple hands...

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕 and the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!! comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄