Car Accident jokes

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

Why did the little boy get hit by a car?

Answer: Because Sally was driving!

What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?

Mash potato.

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

A boy and his mother survived a car crash.

The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."

How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...

REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.

How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.

I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.

I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

He had a change of race tho when he died.

Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.

Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"

The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:

"I have good news and bad news."

The wife said: "What's the good news?"

"We managed to save his arm."

"What's the bad news?"

"We couldn't save the rest of him."

Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."

England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."

Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?

I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.