Car Accident jokes

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.

Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."

And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"

Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"

Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?

Because Paul Walker crashed into it.

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!

(Obtained by running over 69 children.)

Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?

She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.

Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?

A: She hit an ambulance.

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?

I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.

The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"

Why did the little boy get hit by a car?

Answer: Because Sally was driving!