Candy jokes
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Memes
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?
Milk-hee-hee Way.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.