Candy jokes
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
it's a fnac ref
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer…
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.
“NO NO NO”
I’ll give you some candy.
“Oh ok🤩”
Is crummy bears alright??