Candy jokes
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?
Milk-hee-hee Way.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.