Candy Bar jokes

I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?

Milk-hee-hee Way.

Do you know what is good about being an orphan?

Every candy bar is family sized.

What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?

Twix.

Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?

Diabetes.

I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."

What's the best part of being an orphan?

All the chips and candy bars are family sized.

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.

Candy is dandy.

But liquor is quicker.

Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."