Candy

Candy Jokes

LBB- why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys Mummy

His mom- Maybe because your the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus- should’ve been better Little Bear

LLB -help Mummy he’s the Scratchy monster

Shrek- just kidding it’s not Krampus but indeeds Me and Black Donkey instead, and were going to poop on your floor

Duggie- hopefully Marvins doesn’t see us and by the way want some purplish koolaid

I’ve been munching away on these new tic tacs recently and honestly, they are really good. It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty tho, so it’s time to get some more!

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

a sister told her brother to walk to the store buy some candy watch movie with her while eating the candy (but he couldn't walk because he has no legs he couldn't buy candy because he has no arms he couldn't watch a movie because he was blind and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach who said he was real?)

What is the difference between an orphan and Cotten Candy ? Answer: the Cotten Candy gets picked

How do men like their women? Striped

How does priest like their children? Clean

Why are most orphans strippers? they want to call someone mommy or daddy

What is the difference between stripper and candy? none. but they like it when you take the wrapper off

imagine a white van. now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombre on and his arm out the window and on the side of the van it says free candy. but there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back

Shut the fuck up u fat bitch u always like to roast others but u cant walk up the stairs whithout passing out u fat stupid bitch and i caught you break into someones house just to steal a peace of candy fat ass bitch.

1 like = 1 more child in my fryer 13 0 1

t thelittletimmy6 days ago 1 like = 1 more child in my blender 82 5 11

a andrewgrayson5 days ago Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jills real name is Randy. 27 1 3

M MedievalJoker22 hours ago in America Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?!? 4 0 0

h heeeieo3sxedcv bnm10 hours ago When you call the middle eastern suicide hotline they ask you if you can fly a plane. 3 0 2

The Legend1 day ago Do trees shit?

Well, how else would we get #2 pencils? 5 0 0

Staniel13 hours ago A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive." 3 0 2

Staniel14 hours ago Why did the sperm cross the road ———— because I put on the wrong sock today 3 0 0

TheForeverVirgin5 days ago 1 like=1 more orphan I dropkick 28 2 5

Anonymous1 day ago Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :) 4 0 0

Anonymous7 hours ago in Orphan what makes an orphan jump? A Bridge 2 0 1

G Goofy ah11 hours ago I. Have no dad no milk and no mom so that means no tits like if u can relate 2 0 1

A Alastor Already From Hell14 hours ago What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?

Nothing, their both dead, one painted the walls and the other commuted suicide by pressing ALT + F4 2 0 0

C COLINGAMING2000915 hours ago A funny joke

knock knock "Whose there" who "who who" Ha who who you sound like an owl "fuck you" 3 1 1

Sandwichtheif16 hours ago Why can’t orphans play baseball?

He can’t find home 2 0 0

Cal3y3 days ago 1 like= 1 more child in my basement 9 2 0

Anonymous5 days ago in Orphan What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt me. 15 1 1

e easports3 days ago 1 like= 1 kids in the bed with me 8 2 3

Z Za_gotjokesss4 days ago My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt 7 0 0

G Goofy ah2 days ago +1 like=1 kid in my basment +1 comment =1 kid in my microwave +1 share =1 kid in my blender 3 0 14

1 2 3 4 5