Candy jokes
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?
Milk-hee-hee Way.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.