Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite candy bar?
Milk-hee-hee Way.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.
Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.
Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.
