Candy jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
Why was the Milky Way remembered...
Because it's... DELICIOUS!
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
Dino nuggets are kinda hot. Also, I want to fuck the brown M&M.
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
One day Jack and Jill went up a hill. Jack got Jill drunk and horny, then took her to a hotel because Jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick.
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.