Candy Jokes

What kind of bear that has no teeth?

A gummy bear.

What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?

Kids can take both

who make hard candy for the kids

solve

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy

A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.

a sister told her brother to walk to the store buy some candy watch movie with her while eating the candy (but he couldn't walk because he has no legs he couldn't buy candy because he has no arms he couldn't watch a movie because he was blind and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach who said he was real?)

What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.

me: *stabs vampire*

wife: omg

me: *beats vampire to death*

wife: OMG

me: what

wife: ur supposed to give them candy

me: well thats a sticky situation now isnt it barbara

4 cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the 4 Cs Quartet since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine. They discovered how they could win. After a discussion they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.

I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.

What is the difference between an orphan and Cotten Candy ? Answer: the Cotten Candy gets picked

What is God’s favorite candy?

Jesus Pieces

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes"

what's the difference between me and a rapist? He forced her While i convinced her with a candy. she was just 7years old

jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick her candy but, jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock and jills real name was randy

One day johnny told his dad this girl in his class who liked him he thoe she was cute she sead aw your like candy he doesn't say any thing he sead why don't u think I am sweat like candy little Johnny say well some time I get a tooth ake and it hurt so I stop eating it like I stobed liking u