Can jokes

Even your mother can never fix your hairline, just God.

I just want to say good morning to Gwen and everyone on this site. Have a nice day.

What if it's okay if someone can see my blue jokes, hello, bully, love, crazy, and Ariana jokes? Thanks!

You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.

Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.

Me: I broke me bum.

Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.

Everyone, Alya is okay!!!!!!!!!! She got up, she can walk, and she can talk regular!!!!

Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?

Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??

Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."

What's the difference between Batman and Robin?

Batman can go to the store without robbin'.

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?

Y'know what's really sad?

Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?

What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Boss: Can I do a reference check?

Me: I don’t have a...

*sensei appears*

Me: oh no

Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.

Boss: What's kiz...

Sensei:😈

Me: Oh no, here we go.

Sensei: Kizma AS-

"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"

I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.

Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:

Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.

Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.

Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.