I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
Why is something orphans can never say? Let’s go home
I need to call candy whats candy can bofe if thies balls fit in your mouf
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad but I can only think of the punchline.
What time is it when you get home can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car 🚘 I love 💕 you’re the night
what's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
"Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?"
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.
When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
