Can

Can jokes

Bum

    • Me: I broke me bum.

    Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.

    Jesus

    • What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

    You can hang the picture with one nail.

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    • Bunk Bed

    • You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

    Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

    You: Uhhhhhhh

    Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

    You: Thank God.

    Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

    You: *faints*

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    • Hitman

    • A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.

    Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”

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    • Can memes

    Protest

    • Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

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    • Wood

    • How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

    Quote

    • Quote of the day:

    Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

    [Comment your favorite fall beverage!]

    Dick

    • Did you know that big black dicks can be weapons and can kill people?

    Floyd Mayweather proved it when he gave it to Logan Paul in the ass.

    Girlfriend

    • Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.

    Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)

    Razor

    • There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

    John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

    Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

    John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

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    • Head

    • Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

    I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

    Marriage

    • One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.

    I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."