Came jokes

You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.

Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.

Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.

A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.

Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?

They both came from behind and crushed them.

A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.

My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but it came plain.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.

Usually I just use tissues.

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

Why don't orphans drink milk?

'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.