Came Jokes

What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted? Nothing.. wife couldn’t tell.

Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer but they only had 2 dollars each. Christopher got an idea and run away to the butcher and see if he got something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys. - Are you crazy?! Said Tony to Christopher. 'We don't have any money!' - Take it easy now, said Christopher. 'I have a plan.' When they finnished drink everything up christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth. The bartender saw what they did and throw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub. After the 10th pub said Tony: I can't do this anymore. I am drunk and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk. - How do you think i feel? Said Christopher exhausted. ' I dropped the sausage in the 3th pub!'

I’ve been munching away on these new tic tacs recently and honestly, they are really good. It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty tho, so it’s time to get some more!

The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.

yo mama so fat that when went out in high heels she came back in flip flops

why does the ophan drink hot coco with water because his dad never came back with the milk

man i had a joke but it left and lever came back

Your momma so dumb that they said it was chilli outside she said came outside with a bowl

What did the mom say when her child came out? "The head was so big"

Kids when they meet kid out of home alone be like: “at least your mom came back”

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden. He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, " You have to dig a little."

Yo mama so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her he died

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes. A few hours later dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said “honey can you get the mashed potatoes” dad said “why she’s right here”

what do you call an indian that came home late a crufue muncher

My friend says. You should try Oreos with water. Me no. Because my dad actually came back with the milf

Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did

My girlfriend sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with. roses are red violets are blue if you ever feel alone i'm always watching you

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off then he ask if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah the thing is my mom was coming out the shower naked and when she open the door it was me and the mailman. Now when the mailman sees me he says to me we got something in common we both saw your mom naked.