Call jokes
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Why does everyone call me racist?
My shadow is black.
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”
“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
Because they can't call their parents.