Call jokes
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
What do you call an ant with so much power?
A ter-mite.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
Did you know they made a porn site for pirates?
It's called Heavy Arrrrrrg.
Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
What do you call a sick Asian?
A calculator with dead batteries.
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.