Call jokes
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.
You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?
Me: I don't know.
You: Are you sure?
Me: I don't know.
You: Okay.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?
If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.
What do you call an orphan? No home-o.
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.