Call jokes
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
What do you call a cringey Indian man? A Cringian.
Sorry, the joke is bad :(
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
What do you call a pool full of retards?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
What do you call an abo with a shotgun?
Sir.
How do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.