Call jokes
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What do you call a puffer fish? A fish!
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What do you call nuts on a chin?
My penis in your mouth.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.