Call jokes
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
Memes
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing, then his friend calls and he is groaning. He said he was having cramps, so the husband tells the doctor, "Doc, turn it up to 40%!" So he does, and his friend throws up, so he said, "Doc, turn it up to 100%!" and his friend dies.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
On the fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.