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Bitch

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

Jesus

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.

On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"

Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.

On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"

Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.

On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"

Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"

Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"

  • 5

    • Blonde

    Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?

    She called for a price check.

    Memes

    Call memes

    Orange

    If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?

    Dog

    Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

    Office

    If I ever ran for public office, I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.

    Gorilla

    Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."

    Space

    What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?

    The Milky Way.