A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. The joke is that soda brands are acting like people. Pepsi "murdered" Coca Cola, Sprite wants a doctor (Dr. Pepper), and 7-Up makes the call. It's like a cheesy soda commercial gone wrong! And you not getting it? About as surprising as finding out water is wet! You should try drinking a coke, because you clearly need help.
Dark Humor
Wut...The...Wut