Call

Call jokes

Inch

  • Alicia: I said no already, quit it. You are thirsty, leave me alone creep.

    Nathan: I wanna sex YOU.

    Alicia: I LOVE DICK bud, you're *WEIRD*.

    Nathan: WE-WE

    Alicia: WEE-WEE?

    Nathan: YES YES YES LETS FUCK NOW TAKE them panies off u said yes well in french but u said yes

    Alicia: U tricked me I ain fucking u

    Nathan: *SEX ME!! BITCH SEX ME OH PLEASE SEX ME SEX ME* *screaming saying it*

    Alicia: *WEIRD*

    Nathan: Dick ten inches and i geuss u cant call me *10 inched big long dick nathan* your lose

    Alicia: WHAT NO.... wait? 10 inches yess

    cauh!.cauh! ummm umm long dick goood unmmm couh coun ccccchhou

    nathan: why do i have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy

    cuugh umm

  • 2
  • Asthma

  • My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

  • 3
  • Meme

  • I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

  • 1
  • Confessional

  • A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"

    And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."

    And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"

    And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."

  • 2
  • Bet

  • An old man gets a call from the IRS.

    The man on the phone says, “We’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly, and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.

    The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office, and the man there says, ”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies, ”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says, ”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says, ”Alright, last chance. I bet you 50,000 I can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible, so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agent’s desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “Haha! I got you now!” But the man's lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands, and says, “He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”

  • 2
  • Dark Humor

  • I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.

  • 8