Call jokes
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
What do you call a one-legged China man?
Ty Whon Shu.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.