Cake

Cake jokes

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Emo

  • Fake emo: when I鈥檓 sad, I cut myself.

    Real emo: same.

    Fake emo: another piece of cake.

    Piece

  • You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."

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    Roast

  • 1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

    2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

    3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

    4. I don鈥檛 hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

    5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn鈥檛 laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

    6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

    7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

    8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I鈥檇 be broke.

    9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

    10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that鈥檚 where most accidents happen?

    11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

    12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

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    Birthday

  • I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

    Plane

  • For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

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  • Adoption papers

  • So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

    He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.