Social life jokes

I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.

Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?

A: A virgin.

I had a good time with friends!

Your momma is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.

How does Hellen Keller meet men?

She goes on blind dates.

Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.

I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.

So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

Why does the basketball never get a date?

Because they dribble.

I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."

I have a girlfriend.