Cake jokes
What鈥檚 the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 馃槥馃巶
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
Fake emo: when I鈥檓 sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.
One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don鈥檛 hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn鈥檛 laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I鈥檇 be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that鈥檚 where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Hey guys, it's cake time!
Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.
So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.