Business jokes
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered three pepperoni pizzas and one came plain, the other came late, and the other one went to the wrong address.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.