Business jokes
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
Sneed feed seed.
Formerly Chuck's!
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Memes
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL