Business jokes
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Why don't Indians play baseball?
Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
Memes
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”