Business jokes
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
Memes
I thought it stood for microsoft
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered three pepperoni pizzas and one came plain, the other came late, and the other one went to the wrong address.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL