Business jokes
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
T-Series.
A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.