Business jokes
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
Apparently, rich people have the smallest penises. It makes sense why Bill Gates called it "MicroSoft."
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"
Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to GROW his fan base.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough from his beats.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
What kind of mask are you wearing?
An Elon Musk!