Breakfast Jokes

Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.

Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.

The image is a meme comparing the reactions of three U.S. presidents, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, and Theodore Roosevelt, to being shot. For Ronald Reagan, the text says he "gets shot once," "cries about it," and "immediately enacts gun control like a scared baby." For John F. Kennedy, it says he "gets shot twice," "eats the first shot for breakfast," and the "second shot blows his brains all over his wife on live TV like a boss." For Theodore Roosevelt, it says he "gets shot once while giving a speech in front of a huge audience," "laughs it off," and "continues to give his speech for the next hour while roasting the would-be assassin."

Where did the cake sleep on the stove?

In a pan.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dumplin.

Dumplin who?

Dumplin the killer.

My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.

Now she's having a breakfast.

What do orphans use to make breakfast? My ass! 🤣🤣

Timmy has 5 apples.

His train is 7 minutes early.

Calculate the mass of the sun.

My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?

It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.

Gas

Chili

Shot

Cake

Knock

Girlfriend

Orphan

Sun

Diet