Breakfast jokes
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.