What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
Rabbit poop is cereal.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
Good morning
What is a good time for dinner and what do I do for you and dinner dinner and what yyyuyy dinner 🍴 night time
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg but you...
