My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
Breakfast Jokes
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
Good morning!
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dumplin.
Dumplin who?
Dumplin the killer.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
What do orphans use to make breakfast? My ass! 🤣🤣
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
