Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
Body Jokes
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Whatβs the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I donβt have a motorcycle in my garage.
Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Kyle's penis is small.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
