Body jokes

What is a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.

Sally

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She didn't have any arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

Ocean

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.

Did you SEA what I did there?

GUY: Yes

Are you SHORE?

Susie

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...

Exorcism

Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.

Memes

Voice

4 months ago

Shitpost master general

A four-panel exploitable meme featuring the Trollface. The top left panel shows a beaker with yellow and blue liquid, with the text 'The voices are back'. The top right panel shows the Trollface and the text '1) do not listen to them', 'get a forklift', and 'cover yourself in oil'. The bottom left panel shows the Trollface again, surrounded by various bizarre and disturbing commands like 'cover yourself in oil', 'find a sturdy metal chair', 'place buttered toast on a cat's back', 'find two magnets', 'get a forklift', 'buy 1kg of pure mercury', 'let us take control', 'you did this to yourself', and 'kill them all', with the heading '2) resist their commands'. The bottom right panel shows the Trollface with an even more chaotic and layered jumble of text, including many of the previous commands, self-blaming phrases like 'you did this to yourself', 'we can't outrun your sins', and 'this is your fault', and the large, distressed red text '3) make it stop' and 'MAKE IT STOP'. The overall image depicts a descent into a desperate mental state.

Body memes

Crime

Somebody stole my joke.

So I stole their spinal cord.

Dentist

A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.

The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

Fat

At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.

Girlfriend

If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.

Man

What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.

Cow

6 years ago

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?

LEAN BEEF!

Skeleton

6 years ago

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

The trom-BONE!

P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.

Gun

I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.

Butt

Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.

Name

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?

Names.

Pirate

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.

A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"

Crap

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

Abortion

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

Confession

What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?

"My bum hurts!"

Ball