What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
I am thinking of removing my spine.
It's only holding me back.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
Yo mama so ugly, she looks like a green bean with googly eyes.
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
