Body jokes
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Memes
Kyle's penis is small.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Worst joke Ever: What do you call a fat kom? A FAT MOM! LALALALLA!
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
I am thinking of removing my spine.
It's only holding me back.