Body jokes
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
Memes
FOR REALLLLL
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
Is "buttcheek" one word, or should I spread them?
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.