Body jokes
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.