Body jokes
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
Q: What's a skeleton's favorite instrument? A: A tromBONE.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
What's the difference between acne and the Pope?
Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!