Body jokes
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
I’m literally scratching my itchy balls right now.
Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.