Body jokes
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
They are hairy.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Is "butt check" one word, or do I have to spread it?
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Yo hairline is built like the Mississippi River.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Roses are red, My c0ck is blue, Oh shit, what happened to you?
Eat my ass!
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.