Body jokes
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck dick.
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
Roses are red, Burnt bodies are black.
You'd look great With a knife in your back.
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.