What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
Sex is like math.
You add a bed.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
And pray you don’t multiply.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
