Body jokes

What do you call somebody with no nose?

TRUE STORY!

X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.

I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!

Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!

When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.

Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?

They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.

I know a baby carrot when I see one.

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.

Alpha Kenny body?

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"

What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?

Matt.

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

What has legs but can't walk?

Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))

Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.

You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.

A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"

I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."

Bootylicious lol

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

The grass tickles their balls.