Body jokes

I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!

What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.

What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.

Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.

A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"

When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

Finding out it was traced.

(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)

What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?

The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.

You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.

Dad: "If they jumped off a bridge, would you?"

Tommy: "Yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!"

What’s the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber 🥒

What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes his butt.

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

A: So she can moan with the other.