Body jokes

What has 50 legs but can't walk?

25 disabled kids.

They say people are 75% water.

But I'm 100% useless.

Cremation,

The last chance for a smoking hot body.

I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess.

His family is nuts.

His neighbor is an asshole.

His best friend is a pussy.

And his owner beats him.

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?

The grass tickles their balls.

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”

My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.