There was an air crash of a Boeing 737 - 800 which can carry around 300 passengers…

It crashed in a cemetery

They recovered 500 bodies

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me…

What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor

Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball. He didn’t have any BODY to go with.

Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: gets the noose

“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms”

“Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends”

“Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground”

“Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag”

“Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus”

“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?" Bob responds, "No, I haven’t. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, “Nah, they call him that because he doesn’t wear pants.”

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?

LEAN BEEF!

Why doesn’t a skeleton to dance. Because he had no body to dance with. Lol sans

What did the girl say to the man with a moustache? I moustache you a question

why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

because he had no BODY to go with.

ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin’ hot body.

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three “You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren’t that heartless so we’ll let you choose your deaths.” So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said “Viva la France” and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said “For the queen” and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself “Try make a canoe out of this one!”

What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have? A hambone.

A slag is like the first peace of bread in a loaf everyone touches it but no body wants it.

Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor? Because it got every bodys pokes!

What do you call a person with no body and no nose “no body nose”

I drew a fist on a body and then i drew a guy saying to him “that dude’s a knucle-head!”

why do giraffes have such long necks?

Because their feet smell!

Loading...