Body jokes

What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?

Con Fuckacarcass.

Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.

Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?

It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

My anus smells.

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.