Body jokes

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.

Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?

It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.

Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

My anus smells.

Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.