Body jokes

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.

Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.

What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?

Con Fuckacarcass.

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.

My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?

A: Mat.

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."