Body

Body jokes

Rape

  • Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

    The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

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    Side

  • Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!

    But he’s all right now.

    Boob

  • Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

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    Actor

  • Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?

    Because every play has a cast.

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  • Skeleton

  • - What did the skeleton say to his friend?

    - Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...

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    Detention

  • There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."

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    Teeth

  • What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.

    Priest

  • What is the difference between a priest and a zit?

    The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

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    Mum

  • Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

    Dick

  • Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.

    Rapist

  • How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

    Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

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    Guy

  • Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.

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