Body jokes
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Memes
What hangs low?
Balls.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
Lick my nut.
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"