I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"
He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Big penis.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
Yo hairline is built like the Mississippi River.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
