Body jokes
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
Yo mama so fat, Dora can't explore her.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
What hangs low?
Balls.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
Lick my nut.