Body jokes

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

What is the difference between a priest and a zit?

The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.

What hangs low?

Balls.

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

- What did the skeleton say to his friend?

- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...

Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?

Because every play has a cast.

There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."

I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.

What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women.

What do skeletons say before they eat?

Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lick my nut.

What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?

Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.

Hey guess what...

What...

My penis is big.

What did the dentist say to the butt?

"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"

My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.

Well, because it's impastable.