What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
Body Jokes
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
My depressed body would look great hanging from a tree...
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with? Shingles!
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
Your fat!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
