Body jokes
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.
You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.
Your momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio!
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
Boner.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"