Body jokes
Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy them as well.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?
You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
My dick harder than stone, man.
Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.
Yo mama is so fat she can't even get in her own car because she's fat.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.